What's up, Vince Vaughn!

Remember when you were young and thin? I didn't, until the other day when I caught a couple minutes of Swingers on cable. I gotta tell you, dude, I'm so glad you got fat.



Look at that guy! Too thin! Waaaay too pretty. Fix your weird chisel-y face, chisel face!



Bluuuuuurgh.



Much better. You're starting to look like Vincent D'Onofrio, which I think is a great move. And you're a much more enjoyable actor now, too! Skinny Vince was all twitchy and energetic. I far prefer current day, "hibernating bear who just woke up and wandered onto a film set" Vince Vaughn. At least, in theory. I haven't seen anything you've done for the last 5 years. So, keep up the good work, I guess?

Yours,
Chelsea